About Things I Wish A Sister Taught Me: How did I make it through life without a sister? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade having a big brother for the world …but there’s something special about the dynamic between sisters.
Let’s just say, puberty hit me hard. Real hard. I’m thankful it did. I won’t get into the middle school horror stories but my girlhood consisted of braces, insecurities, the mean girls, and more braces. I remember feeling very hopeful for the future but shying away from everyone or not able to live in the moment. I often wished for a sister who had “been there done that,” someone who could help me navigate the awkwardness of adolescence.
Looking back, I shouldn’t have let those insecurities take away my smile. I had so many other beautiful things about me to be confident about. I wish someone would have told me this. That’s why I created the series, “Things I Wish A Sister Taught Me.”
This is everything I wish an older sister would have told me.
POST-GRAD LIFE ADVICE
Wanted to have a CHIT-CHAT about LIFE. *sigh* It knocks you down it, builds you up but I can’t get off the rollercoaster. I’m so passionate about helping others avoid the hard times by sharing a little wisdom about my experiences with you sporadically on the ‘gram.
In the spirit of graduation season, my friends at Olay have inspired me reflect on some big lessons I have learned- so here’s my best advice to my little squirt self, and to all of you growing and changing every day.
HABITS.
Let’s talk about HAB-ATS. Sorry, I stretched the rhyme on that one… I really just want to talk about habits…This year Jordan and I are realizing how we need to SLOW down. This whole “influencer” thing has a way of making you GO-GO-GO.
We used to really appreciate the pace we were movin’. It made us feel “important” and we associated being “busy” with being “successful”. This year has brought so much wisdom into our lives. We are realizing that “slow” can be “best” because even “opportunity” can become a “burden” if you let it.
So we are getting better at balance and boundaries. That means saying “no” to more so that we can be fully present in what we commit to with “yes”. We are testing out a lifestyle where we do LESS but we do it BETTER. This has also allowed for us to build in sweet little habits and rituals that I wouldn’t trade for the world now.
PRACTICE SELF CARE DAILY.
It’s perfectly okay to make yourself a priority in your life!! In fact, I recommend it. You’re a hot sassy mama and you deserve it! Plus, one of the most valuable things I’ve learned about self care is that you can’t be your best self without it.
It’s important to me to start everyday with self care. The Olay’s Sun Face Sunscreen + Shine Control with SPF 35 is my new go-to product, and I don’t leave the house without it on. Because self care gives me the confidence to #FaceAnything. Add in an educational/motivational/entertaining podcast (whatever you fancy) and become a stronger version of yourself daily. These days will fly by…wasn’t graduation like yesterday?!
Gimme that Olay Sun Face Sunscreen with SPF 35 and I can do anything. AND…since it has the SHINE CONTROL that mama likey I don’t even worry about looking greasy or too shiny like my college days lol.
COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING.
LADIES. We are stronger together. I will say this to my last breath! I created the Sassy Club to bring women together because I believe this so much. I’ve had rough days and can always count on my Sassy Club mamas to be there for me.
In another sense, this industry has taught me a ton about how women can work together in a non-competitive way. Making my faith in being stronger together, a FACT. Okay, little rant about Olay as a whole because it’s a great example of this:
I have never been so motivated to be such a BOSS then when I see other sassy mamas out there killing the game. My Olay Fearless squad is killing it right now, motivating girls left and right. They are truly an inspiration in initiating a bigger conversation on self care. I’m overwhelmed There’s so much we can do every day that it’s overwhelming.
But it truly does not have to be. Start by making small strides to become a better person everyday. Slather on that SPF in the morning, text your girl that she’s going to do AMAZING with that presentation and you’re golden!!!
ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL.
You have no idea how how thankful I am for you guys putting up with me. I’ve laughed, cried, (like ugly cried), fallen in love, got married, and made mistakes. Through every up and down – I’ve always felt so loved and supported by y’all! I call you guys “my girls” because I truly feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to have y’all around to do life with. Enough with the sappy!
BE THE BIGGER PERSON.
Putting yourself out there takes a lot more courage than sitting behind a computer screen commenting negative opinions about other people’s lives. Last week, someone sent me a DM. “You’re an embarrassment. Delete your account. P.S. Your head looks way too big for your body.” First thing I wanted to say back wasn’t nice. So I bit my tongue.
Then I went back to a Brené Brown quote,
“If you’re not also in the arena getting your butt kicked, I’m not interested in your opinion.”
My skin is pretty thick nowadays. Sometimes I hate how “tough” the internet has made me. Sometimes I love it.
My attitude towards the negativity is what has changed the most. Mean comments that used to make me cry, sometimes make me laugh. I know, it may sound messed up… and of course, mean comments still sting, but I’ve realized that no matter what I do, SOMEONE will have an OPINION about SOMETHING. I receive an opinion about how I look, who I married, what I eat, what I do, what I say, and how I say it, every single day. With a life on the internet, opinions are inescapable and I have accepted that. It is part of the gig. .
I am so proud of the toughest times in my life because they have made me who I am today. I’ll never come to you as an “expert” in one area because I believe the best way to influence people is to humble yourself and admit your weaknesses and learn together. I believe I’m not perfect and we will make mistakes together. We will live and learn all together and that is what excites me to keep on posting.
I’d love to challenge everyone to be real on the internet and when you have criticism, come from a bold place of love, rather than a weak place of judgement.
What advice would YOU give yourself?! Let us know in the comments below!
xo,
Dani
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