How to Deal With Negative Comments on the Internet
Last weekend I saw Taylor Swift in concert. If you guys have been following me for a while, you know T-SWIFT IS MAH GIRL. Through heartbreaks and triumphs, Taylor Swift has been the soundtrack of my life. My friend, Emily, and I flew to Nashville for the concert. We wanted to go ALLLL out on the biggest night of the year (besides my wedding, of course!)
I bought the CUTEST pink dress from Revolve. I was waaay overdressed but did not care because I felt like a sassy mama ready to shake my booty to every T-Swft song! That night, I couldn’t wait to share the dress details with you guys on instagram. We arrived to dinner 15 minutes early to get the perfect pic for my IG feed, hehe. The concert was insane, better than I could have imagined. Best. Night. Ever.
As we were leaving the concert, I looked down at my phone to see a swarm of red notification dots, which is usually a good thing! but not this time… Some very opinionated ladies took over the comments in my photo accusing me of having a terrible eating disorder and saying I looked disgusting so they were going to unfollow me. These comments had 40 likes, some people I actually knew personally, were liking the comments (that always stings!) Moms commented about being truly concerned for me and to ‘eat something’ and take care of myself. The comments were extremely hurtful. Whether I am struggling with a mental disorder or not, no one likes being called ‘disgusting.”
Let me go on the record to say, I do not have an eating disorder. I never have in my entire life. I’ve been a runner and enjoy exercising. I go through phases of being super healthy and some phases where I can’t work out for weeks. Just depends on the stage of life. My weight fluctuates just like every other person’s weight. My mom weighed 104 lbs AFTER she had my brother. BUT! This is all besides the point. No matter what, when you start to put yourself out there, people are going to have something negative to say.
It really frustrated me that I was letting these hurtful words sink into the thick skin I thought I had built up over the last 5 years on the internet. Regardless, if you live your life publicly on the internet, or not, we all, from time to time, receive comments that discourage us in some way. Whether it’s about my weight, my hair, my marriage, or my personality, I’ve heard them all.
When you feel hurt or knocked down, your next step is CRITICAL. Will you act weak and afraid to move forward? Or will you stand up and walk away, choosing to seek God’s definition of who you are, over the opinions and assumptions of others?
Here are 3 things I consider when I receive hurtful comments on the internet.
ARE YOU TRULY EMPOWERED BY THE RIGHT THINGS?
Wait, do you know how AMAZING you are? Have you sat down and thought about how GORGEOUS you are? How about how strong, bold, and confident you are? Well, you should because you are a daughter of the KING. That’s right, a KING. Girl, that should make you feel empowered! When my feelings are hurt am I going to believe God and begin seeing myself as God sees me, or am I going to continue believing the lies of the enemy and the echoes of the opinions on the internet? Am I going to remain stuck in a stagnant faith because I was too insecure to take a step toward the abundant life Jesus promises us.
BROKEN PEOPLE LASH OUT.
In Job 6:26 it says, “Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind?” In other words, there are probably elements of brokenness and pain in a person’s life that may cause them to lash out on you. The brokenness, which feels damaging and offensive to us, is more about their own woundedness. Being aware of this truly helps me shake it off and give less merit to the comment.
WHO ARE YOU SURROUNDED YOURSELF BY?
When people ask how to handle the negative comments in this industry – I think the #1 thing you can do is surround yourself with friends and family that encourage and believe in you no matter what. I’m thankful for all of your support you guys. I’m like daaaaaaang. Y’all are my girls!!!! Y’all have my back and you don’t know how amazing and surreal that feels to me!! It’s difficult to accept it TBH but I want to always focus on the positive not the negative. I truly try to pour my heart and soul into my content for you guys, so I am truly grateful.
CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT.
Whether you are receiving the negative comments or sending them, change your environment to respond better to the external pressures acting upon you. Ultimately, this is why I created The Sassy Club. I received such amazing support from my followers that I wish I was able to pour into each one of them the way they had to me. So I focused on creating a community of strong, sassy women to raise each other up when everything else is telling you to give up.
Don’t give up, sassy mama! You are stronger than the negativity. Focus on your mental and physical strength this week. It’s easy to let the negative comments get to you. BUT BE REMINDED: God is on your side!
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future
– Proverbs 31:25