Before Stella, before Lola, before – okay, NOT before Hazel (Jordan had her when we met!) – there was just Jordan and I! Before we got married and had Stella, we went on cute dates allllll the time, getting ice cream, tacos, drinks – we like to eat, okay?! 🤪 We’d go on trips to LA or Mexico, and Jordan would even join me on some influencer trips across the world. We’ve had some pretty epic adventures so far – like finally getting the Southwest Companion Pass (even though we didn’t get to use it because of COVID ðŸ˜) or making friends with monkeys in Gibraltar, and now we’re in the middle of our BIGGEST adventure yet – raising Stella girl!
With all of the life changes that have happened around here in the last few years – from pregnancy, to moving houses, to receiving my mama’s diagnosis, to becoming parents, to walking through Torado’s treatments with her – it’s been a whirlwind, and it hasn’t left a lot of time for Jordan and I to focus on our marriage.
Life is so busy, and when you work together, it can be easy to let quality time go by the wayside. But our marriage is ALWAYS our number one priority. Period! That’s why a few weeks ago, we decided to leave Stella with our family so that we could getaway to Tulum for a few days. Not to talk about work. Not to talk about Stella. JUST to be together and to talk about US.
I wanted to share just a few things that we have learned in case you can relate in your own marriage!
1. If the foundation is weak, everything else is too
Sometimes it’s easy to think, “look – we can focus on us later. Our kiddo is more important” You can fill in the blank with anything – your parents, your careers – whatever it is for you. But the truth is, nothing is more important than your relationship with your boo! BECAUSE – everything else stems from it. So if you and your partner are in a bad place, of course that will probably affect your kids, your parents, your careers, etc. So it’s not like I’m loving Stella LESS by putting our marriage first – I am actually loving her ENOUGH to take care of one of the most important relationships she’ll ever have – her parents!
When we got married, we made a promise to put each other first, and when WE are healthy, that health positively affects the rest of our lives. And when things are tough, we have a solid relational foundation to fall back on.
2. Time itself is not quality time
Jordan and I work together, so it’s safe to say we spend a LOT of time together 😂 But working together isn’t the same thing as creating quality time for each other. I think people get stressed about “quality time” because they feel like it always has to be some crazy expensive or elaborate date, but that’s just not true at all, ladies! Quality time can look like literally ANYthing.
Cooking dinner together, watching a show you love, heck – making a Target run! It’s not about what you’re doing so much as WHY you are doing it. If you’re going to Target because you need a little time out of the house together, cool! If you’re watching Netflix but are actively being there with your person (and not just on your phone or ignoring each other!) then why not? We really don’t need to overthink it. Intentional time with each other is the key, no matter how you spend it.
3. You don’t know everything about your partner!
You date someone to get to know them, right? Well, if you’re married, you’ve probably realized by now – you still don’t know everything about your spouse! Marriage means you get to learn more about your person and every new version of them as the years go on. So keep learning about each other and finding out new things. This week, Jordan learned that I can’t close one eye at a time… seriously 😂 If you feel like you know literally EVERYthing about each other – try a new date that will challenge you (and make you laugh)!
Jordan and I got married in May of 2018, and he is still my favorite person in the world. I’m so thankful that I get to do life with him. We’re going to continue making our relationship our #1, so if you have any fun new date ideas, drop them in the comments! I would love to try something adventurous or silly. What’s your favorite date idea?
XOXO Dani