It’s Jordan’s and my 2nd anniversary!!!! I love this guy. I could never have imagined a better partner – we’re my personal dream team 👫 Of course – most good things don’t come easy! Jordan and I fit together really well, but like anyone else, we have our differences. When we first got married, we realized that our love languages are totally different! Learning to adjust and sacrifice to make the other person feel loved has been amazing for our marriage.
If you haven’t heard or read about them before, the five major love languages are:
Words of Affirmation: expressing your love through words, like “I love ____ about you” or “you did an amazing job with ____”. Love a sappy card or word of encouragement? This is for you!
Touch: expressing love through touch, like hugs or holding hands while walking. If you’re a big snuggler, this could be your top love language!
Gifts: expressing love through giving gifts. If you think “I can’t believe they thought about me” when you receive a gift, and the thought truly is what counts, you might be a gift’s girl (or guy)!
Acts of Service: expressing love by doing something practical, like doing the dishes without being asked or giving you a ride to the airport.
Quality Time: expressing love by spending time together. It doesn’t have to be fancy or planned out – it’s just about having dedicated time to be together.
You can take a Love Languages quiz here – it’s actually really fun! And I should point out, this is totally not just for married couples! If you’re single, this is JUST as valid for you. The website even has a separate quiz for teens and children, too, so if you have kiddos, siblings, or friends who you wanna get to know better, this would be perfect.
I love telling couples to take the quiz at the same time – you’ll learn so much about each other and it’s really fun! Plus, the quiz shows you your results from top to bottom, so you’ll see exactly where you prioritize each language. Most of us feel at least a little loved by each of these languages, but the quiz usually shows one significantly dominate the others.
OUR LOVE LANGUAGES
My top love language is Quality Time! It’s literally my absolute FAVORITE thing to have a whole day with no plans except me and Jordan hanging out! The other day, we drove around Dallas just looking at houses together. There was no agenda, we weren’t trying to hit open houses or anything. We just drove past pretty houses and talked about our dreams for the future and put our phones away for a while. This week, we spent a lot of Saturday just being together. We grabbed lunch, went to the park, and watched Netflix. These type of days make me feel so loved! For our pre-anniversary yesterday, Jordan surprised me by renting a boat so we could just hang on the lake! Sweet, set apart times like these are the key to my heart.
Jordan’s top love language, on the other hand, is Words of Affirmation. Words are probably my LEAST ranked love language. I get super awkward and uncomfortable being complimented, and I’m actually not a very sappy or sentimental person. It’s definitely been a growing area for me to make sure I am intentionally speaking words of encouragement to Jordan. I’ve learned it’s not really about giving compliments – it’s about feeling seen and loved for who you are.
It can be an act of sacrificial love to step into someone else’s shoes and love them the way THEY want to be loved, not how YOU naturally love. Honestly, at times it’s easy to get indignant, because you feel like you’ve been loving someone so well, but they don’t feel loved, because that’s not loving from their perspective. It’s really incredible to see how much growth comes in a marriage when you take the time and effort to love WELL and to prefer the other.
The love languages have been so helpful for Jordan and I! What’s your love language? Take the quiz and let me know!!
XOXO Dani