Right now I have 200+ emails in my inbox screaming at me to open them, 27 unread text messages, and a doctor’s appointment in one hour. The last thing I should be doing is opening up Word Press to write a blog post but there is something too heavy on my heart that I must share.
I am not your typical bride. I think I am a little too realistic and maybe even slightly cynical. I’ve never actually enjoyed my birthday, (this year I cried on my birthday for like two hours), graduation was so anti-climatic, and I have a hard time ever living up to my own expectations. On the other hand, I feel the most loved in the day-to-day mundane normalcies in life, not the big extravagancies. So when it came to planning this wedding – I already accepted the fact that I was going to be disappointed. Depressing, huh? I had a bit of a heart change this morning when I received an email from one of my followers and God really spoke to me.
In the wedding industry, more money = better wedding but if there is ONE thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that money does NOT buy happiness. To any other bride-to-be’s out there on a budget, we cannot compete with the wedding industry and their ridiculous prices – so we have a couple of options when it comes to planning this shin-dig. You can kick and scream your whole way through the process (which is what I’ve been doing), or you can take a deep breath and remind yourself about what this whole wedding is really about and what brings you the most joy.
For me, I feel joy when I’m near to God and serving Him and others. Why should the most important day in my life be any different? When the focus is all on Dani and Jordan, of course we are going to feel disappointed! WE ARE HUMAN. We sin and we disappoint. God does not. My friend Lauren, from @LaurenKaySims, reminded me that when we feel disappointed it’s because we are longing for something so much greater than ourselves, and that is God.
So rather than stressing about whether the food is good enough or the band is decent, or if people will show up to a Sunday wedding – I think I really need to stick to my budget and have FAITH. I need to submit EVERY little detail to God and have faith that He will lead me and bring me joy on that day. I want to pray more about my expectations at the wedding and I want God to remind me of the ways I can serve other people and Him on that day. Because at the end of the day, my wedding day is not about me and Jordan, it’s about God and the gift of marriage He has given us. There are so many creative ways to bless and serve people and my wedding should be the ultimate reflection of God’s love for us.
When I take a moment to stop and reflect, I see God’s provision in my life so clearly. It’s almost like Dani’s life is a game of monopoly and I can see God grinning and giggling as he’s moving around the pieces and I run around aimlessly. God has always been there whether I chose to acknowledge Him or not. He has blessed me with one HECK of a fiancé who I ADORE, and seriously love and respect more and more everyday. He had blessed me with health and a healthy family. He has given me my DREAM job. He continually loves and sharpens me through my followers on Instagram, blogging, and YouTube and He continues to show me grace when I do not deserve it. God is so good and I love letting him lead me through engagement and marriage.